Weight Loss

Okay going to start WW...off the books. What that means is I'm not going to sign up for WW but I'm gonna try and keep track of the points and so forth.

So my point that I'm allowed...

23 points

and then 30 flex points.

My goal is to try and not use the flex points.

However, I'm sure I'll use them for the first few weeks.

Also I'm going to try and drink more water and less soda...

My goal is to work out at least 5 times a week and walk/run for 2 miles.

Maybe lift some weights, working on my arms legs and abs.

Well I'm gonna try this weight loss thing again.

♥ Beth

I DID IT!!!

So I haven't written in a really long time. However, I feel that this is worth at least a very short blog!

I ran a 5k today. It was great. It was very empowering. I ran it by myself. That is what I think was so awesome. I never thought that I would do something like that by myself. I'm a people person and it's hard for me to do anything on my own except sit in my house and watch T.V. So do this by myself is so rewarding. Taylor was suppose to do it with me but since Taylor moved (that's other blog for a later date) I did it by myself.

The last 5k I did with Taylor we ran it in 41:?? and this one I ran in 40:06.

I AM SO PROUD OF MYSELF!!!

I feel so strong right now.

I LOVE feeling proud of myself!

♥ Beth

Biggest Loser: Day 1

It's official, we've started the Biggest Loser Challenge. As a family (T's parents, my parents, P.C. T's brother and C.C. P's wife, as well as their friends) we are basically fighting to be the Biggest Loser Winner in our family. We are going to be doing this weight loss challenge the whole time the regular season of Biggest Loser is going on.

We officially had our first weigh in today. I'm not really excited about this first 2 weeks though because T and I are going to be traveling. Ugh. This means I really have to be careful of what I eat and try to eat little portions.

I will continue to try and update my blog about what is going on and what I am doing to lose weight. I have decided that I am going to try and get myself off caffeine this has been an on and off struggle that I have endured. I have done a lot better at finding different morning drinks that are warm that don't have caffeine like De-cafe coffee and tea, and caffeine free soda, as well as just drinking more water.

Also on January 17th, I will be starting a boot camp at Key Largo Gym in CoMo. Which is 6 weeks of crazy intense working out and getting my butt kicked basically. I'm for sure gonna blog about that. So stay tuned.

My current weight is 171.6 lbs. and my goal weight by graduation (May 13th) is 120.0 lbs. This will be a lot of hard work, but I feel that if I really stick with it and have the motivation to beat my family I can do it.

Well this is what's going on. Hopefully I'll be able to really get going and do great! Pray that I win our family Biggest Loser.

<3

It's NOT fair.

My heart just hurts. Physically hurts! I am so sad that my heart hurts. I think you now understand I am upset.

I hate reading upsetting news. I hate when people are put through pain. I wish I could just take control and make everything bad go away. I can't handle it. It's not fair. I don't like it and it hurts me. There is so much hurt that isn't fair and I don't like it. It makes me sad and pissed at the same time. I sometimes have a hard time with the fact that there is sin in the world.

I just want it to all go away.

Sometimes I wish we could just all go to heaven right now so I wouldn't have to be angry about the things that aren't fair. I don't care if I'm making sense right now or if I'm not. I just needed to let my feelings out in some way shape or form.

This feeling of sadness is overwhelming, and I don't want anyone to have to hurt any more. It's just not fair.

-Beth

(Remembering my Peanut today.)

Five WHAT?!?!?!

I really want to update you on something so amazing and exciting. I am really nervous about it but I am also really excited.

So for about a month I stopped working out and I gained the weight back that I had lost. I really wanted to get back on the bandwagon but I was having trouble doing so. I occasionally did something small to work out but I wasn't really doing anything productive. I stopped counting my calories and everything it was very bad.

I feel like part of the reason I get started on something like this and then fall off the bandwagon is because I don't feel like I am supported. I like someone to do things with me in order for me keep at it because if I stop then I am letting them down and not just myself. So I had asked Taylor to join me on walks. (I had asked him for a while but he's been "busy" or I don't want to work out. We weren't helping each other.) Well it's started to really cool down and so I really pressed for Taylor to go on walks with me, because I wanted to take advantage of the cool air before it becomes winter. He agreed and we started walking about a mile occasionally.

Other then doing a little walk occasionally we really haven't walked or done anything to work out together, but a few weeks ago we were talking about working out and things we could do together. Taylor found out from our Life Group leader Mr. B that he is helping with a 5k walk/run/jog. After finding this out Taylor suggested us doing this 5k. It's called 5k Your Personal Best.

We decided to go for it! That's right Taylor and I are going to do a 5k! I am so excited about this, however, I am a little nervous. I am wonder can I really do this and can I really get through it. Taylor told me we will be able to do it, and he says that he wants us to try and do it in 40 min. Well we found an area to walk around our neighborhood that is about 3 miles long (5k) and as of current we are able to finish it in 50min 51secs. I am really excited and happy that we are doing this. We have started to jog through most of the 3 miles which is really intense. My body has been SO sore but I know that means I am getting a really good work out. I have also been starting to do 40 crunches and 20 push-ups. I really enjoy working out with Taylor he is a great motivator. I love him and I love this work out plan. I feel like I am work toward a really awesome goal. And I can promise you this will not be the last 5k we are going to do.

The 5k is on October 16 and I can't wait, we have also started counting calories together! I am so happy about all of this.

Things that you can do to help:

-Please pray for Taylor and Myself that we will have the strength to continue to do this and that we will be mentally, physically, and spiritually prepared.

-That we will stay healthy, and continue to eat healthy

-And Praise God for allowing Taylor and I to do this because it gives us 50 mins outside with each other away from T.V. and other distractions to just be with each other.

<3>

P.S. I will post about this again and give you updates on how our work out is going. Thanks for all your prayers and support.

Oy Vay...

I haven't written in a long time.

and Sadly I don't want too.

I haven't been exercising, I have been eating well.

I haven't been counting my calories though....but I've stayed away from junk food the best I could.

I gained a pound over the trip from all the fast food and just other food we had.

I haven't checked to see if eating better has made it come off...

I feel like I've let people down...I really want to get my act together but at the same time I really don't care...I do this a lot too.

I start something and then don't care if I keep it up....eek.

I'm struggling to get back on the bandwagon...

♥ Beth

Prayer??

I need prayer...

I have been really upset about my miscarriage for a while now, and I haven't said anything. I've been keeping it inside and telling myself I can get over it. I know that's not true and I know I need help. I have really great friends and family who are here for me and are willing to listen and help in anyway possible. I however haven't reached out and let anyone help me. That is my fault. With loosing the baby all I have thought about is wanting to have another one, however, I know that now is not the time for any babies entering my life.

I have two very intense semesters of school left, and I want to finish on time. If I had a child now that would not be the case I would end up finishing late. Plus, Taylor and I have talked about it and it makes more sense for us to wait until 1) I am out of college 2) where God wants us to be as far as location and 3) I have a job and we have some sort of stability.

With this "plan" (which is bound to change with God's sense of humor :-)) we probably won't have any kids for at least a year and a half which is fine, and I understand and accept. However, recently I have been having a hard time with the loss of a baby.

I was thinking about it today, and I think what makes it hard to forget is I heard a heart beat. A little boy/girl died...I feel like I should have a funeral for the baby. It just seems like a human died and we don't have a funeral...it's sad. I don't know maybe I need to have some type of memorial service to help me get it over it...

I've been finally willing to talk about the fact that I have been struggling with this whole thing. I wish there was an easy way to deal with this. I have decided trying to hide my feelings and pretend they don't exist doesn't work very well.

Well please pray fro me...

I need it.

♥ Beth

p.s. the one thing that I do like to think about that makes me cry is that God is getting to hold my baby...(I'm kinda jealous.) But it's a beautiful image.